Put on that sympathy weight
"Holy crap dude, youve gotten fat as hell, i remember when you had abs. You’re only two years out of HS and you’re already carrying that gut around. What have you put on? About 30-35 pounds, its rolling over your shorts"
"Yeah man, I’ve really stacked it on haven’t I (jiggles belly), I just haven’t had time to do any exercise and its just flew on me. I can’t fit in most of my clothes and these shorts are about to rip"